With My Alter Ego/Muses

So in my Sexy Ladies Hip Hop dance class (the name may seem laughable but we take it as a very serious business, and it's fantastic), the instructor often tells us to channel our inner alter ego, ie. Beyonce and Sasha Fierce, in order to bring out more of a character to our moves.

I haven't named mine yet (sidenote: whatever name I thought of, it just sounds like a porn star/stripper's name), but I can tell you now who together in combination will make up my alter ego, because obviously I am too complex to have just one type of personality for my doppelganger:

Lady Gaga + Beyonce + Lily Allen + Rihanna + Tina Fey

This may be slightly confusing and impossible, but for instance, if you look at my dramatically different outfits from day to day, then you'll realize that I am always channeling one or two of those wonderful ladies' attitudes' with each of my outfit. And I am sorry that I am not deep enough to have anyone besides pop stars and a comedian, but this is MY alter ego.

Well I've also bought the art/feminist studies book Dangerous Women: The Perils of Muses and Femme Fatales recently. I've begun to read it and it's really fascinating. Maybe I'll find more inspiration there soon. ;)

P.S. This semester so far has been AMAZING. <3

With Motivational/Feminist-ish Songs

For the past hectic month or so, I've been living on some of these songs.

Lykke Li- I'm Good, I'm Gone

"Working in the corner  Peaking over shoulders  Waiting for my time to come   Working in the corner  One day to the other  Butter for my piece of bun   Stepping a stone and I'm all gone  Give me the tone  and I'm all gone  Yeah, I'm walking by the line  Not here, but in my mind   I'm working a sweat, but it's all good  Breaking my back but it's all good  'Cause I know i'll get it back  Yeah, I know your hands will clap   I'm working,  I'm working  To make butter for my piece of bun   And if you say I'm not okay with miles to go If you say there ain't no way that I could know  If you say I aim too high from down below  Well say it now 'cause when I'm gone  You'll be calling but I won't be at the phone   And I'm hanging around 'til it's all done  You can't keep me back once I had some  Wasting time to get it right  And you will see what I'm about" 
It really helps to hear this kind of "wel,l screw you if you think I can't do it" song when you've been repeatedly told that you do too much, and you're always doing things that people think that you can't do.

Here's a live version with Robyn on YouTube (Embedding function was removed). I especially love how her voice is so sweet, yet her attitude is so irreverent.

I was reading an article on how the first generation of female rappers' feminism is different than the second for my media studies research methods class when I found this song:

Salt-N-Pepa- Ain't Nuthin' But A She Thing

I would say that I love 90% of the music video (except the scene where it seems like a man tries to sexually assault a woman, and then she ends up beating him up...what?), but 100% of the lyrics. Here are some of my favorite lines.

"It ain't a man's world. No more sugar and spice (And everything nice)."

Powerpuff Girls are cute, and I did watch it often :D, but no.

"Now I can bring home the bacon, fry it in the pan

Got to break my neck just to get my respect

Go to work and get paid less than a man

When I'm doin' the same damn thing that he can"

One of my biggest fears for my the future career path.

"When I'm aggressive then I'm a bitch

When I got attitude you call me a witch"

To quote Tina Fey: "Bitch's the new black," and you should get used to it.

The next one somehow I can't find the lyrics online anywhere, so I am going to try my best to transcribe it. The song is so jazzy. It's incredible.

Choklate- Waitin'

Oy. She sings too fast. I am just going to try to capture the best parts.

"I knew I had to go through somewhere to get where my destiny had in store.

So I planted my feet, stuck out my chest, and got to stomping.

But I skipped the drama, and any other distractions, and I think I've got the winner right here. Sing it along with me if you dig it.

I've been waiting a long time for this. I've been waiting oh so long for this.

Knew I was about to give it, but then it's back to the beginning.

And if you want it, you can have it; you've just gotta stick with it.

Just 'cause you got what it takes doesn't mean that you ready.

No, you won't get where you're supposed to be without integrity.

I know that you mistake the detour for a shortcut, but you just might end up taking the scenic route.

You got to know where you're going before you can figure out how.

Once you can do all of this, stick to the plan, it's important.

And one day you'll have the winner like this."

Ahh it's so good! The melody and the lyrics make up an instant mental pick-me-up, at least for me anyway.

The last two are slightly awkward, because mainly the first one is about a woman courting a man with a big ego, which in turns reveals her own huge ego, but there are inadvertently too many sexual innuendos, and then I couldn't help but wonder if she can use her confidence somewhere else, like work. And the second one is a woman talking how she's the best...but in the context of that's the reason why a man should pick her as a mate....

But I do love me some Mary J. Blige and Beyonce sassy songs: Upgrade U is also one of my personal favorites, and not just because she gets to dress up and act like Jay-Z in her music video, but because it's all about making your partner an equal. It does make me uncomfortable that apparently the way to do that is to buy him designer clothes and luxury cars, and through other consumption of goods... Ah media studies. You have simultaneously ruined me and opened my eyes at the same time. Anyway, back to the song.

Beyonce- Ego

I don't like the version with Kanye not because I think he's a pompous ass (C'mon, guys. It's how he sells himself. Chill out.) but because I feel like then it takes away the focus from the woman. Anyway, there is a chuck-load of quite explicit connections of comparing a man's ego to his reproductive organ:

"It's too big

It's too wide

It's too strong

It wont fit

It's too much"

Whatever. We're all adults here. The other parts of lyrics are more about female empowerment.

"Some call it arrogant

I call it confident

I walk like this cuz I can back it up

I talk like this cuz I can back it up"

Why shouldn't a woman be proud of her achievements? Why shouldn't she talk about what she's able to do if she has the capabilities? I am not saying that we should overestimate our limits, but being well aware of one's own abilities and having the confidence to communicate that to others and asking for what one deserves is important.

Here's Mary J. Blige's "The One."

First of all, she looks amazing for her age, but again, the song is about a woman courting a man because she thinks that she's worth it. And it's just slightly awkward to pair her with Drake, who's like, what, 20 years younger? Just sayin'. Anyway, best line right here: "I ain't saying that I am the best, but I am the best." So true, Mary, so true.

Ah I just realize this turns out to be a continuation of my fascination with black sassy women as well. Oh well.

With Sassy Songs

Today I was talking to a friend (Shahadat) and I realized that I oftentimes put more emphasis on the lyrics of a song rather than the actual melody, which is why sometimes I end up liking songs that the majority of the population deems crappy. Oh well.

Anyhow, onto music.




(Note: This music video is not an official one)
So this song actually came on my "Esthero + Bitter:sweet station" on Pandora a couple times before, but I was interning so I never paid attention to the lyrics until today. The lyrics are (kind of) the story of my life (...ok to be honest, probably also the story of the majority of women who are forward).

"Hey Boy
Why you didn't call me?
I waited for days
I can't believe you didn't call

A. You're gay
B. You've got a girlfriend
C. You kinda thought I came on too strong or
D. I just wasn't your thing
no ring

When we sat outside for an hour at the party and talked
I thought something good could be starting
It's not a lot that I want
just some talking
and really, you just injured my pride

Susan said that maybe you're scared
Shelly says there always is a reason
and Chris said you're probably surrounded by girls and I'm just not one of them you're needing"

To be honest, I rarely give out my phone number or ask for them, hence I even more rarely don't get called back, but it's the whole waiting and interpreting and asking friends for possible reasons that are eerily similar to what I do.

And yes, I am incredibly forward and my ego is bruised. Basically this song is the kind of train of thought that goes through my head. :O The singer tells this story in such a honest sincere way, too. I feel like she's talking to her best friend (the voice inside her head or me the listener). Love it!





I heard this song repeatedly at NSM during class but I never figured that it was Ciara and Missy! FAIL! I love the bright color scheme of the music video (of course). And of course, I always love Missy and sometimes Ciara (sorry). This song just makes all the dance genes in my body jump with excitement, and also it also hits the spot for my cravings for strong-ladies-fierceness.

I am going to have to say though, Ciara sometimes scares me in the video. Is she going to attack me with her ponytail? I don't know! Is she going to stomp on me with those sky-high heels? I have no clue! ...Those ARE the hottest construction outfits and workers ever though. Kind of reminds me of Rihanna's hot mechanic co-workers in "Shut Up and Drive." Also, what is that GIGANTIC machinery that Ciara's dancing next to?! What is that for? Building condos for giants?






This music again isn't an official one. It's actually a project from UC Berkeley's Music Video DeCal. I love both the song and the video.

The song because well, that's exactly how I feel sometimes (*cough* more like often). I think it's good to let anger and irritation out instead of holding it in. And I love how Lily Allen basically coos the following obscene lyrics. Putting on a smiling face while you curse someone out is one of the best ways to swear in my opinion.

"Fuck you
Fuck you very very much
Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch"


"Friend Lover" by Eletrik Red
Another gem (ok so that's debatable) by the gurl group. It's wonderfully catchy and I love the tong-in-cheek rhyming lyrics.

"He's my friend lover
Lover like no other
He fills me up when I'm running low on love

I just take the phone
Dial him up
Tell him what I want
Need a little this
Need a little that
From the front
From the back

He don't want talk about where I been
I don't want to talk about what he did
For me he'll leave his homies'
Come over and put it on me
We don't want to talk about what we do
Its' just between us two
He's not my man all day
But all night he's my boo

..........

I'll never break the rules
Rule One: No poppin up un-announced
Rule Two: Never leave no clothes at my house
Rule Three: Can't speak if you see when I'm out
Rule Four: You cant' stay pass five, I gotta be to work by nine"

Obviously the song is about hook up buddies/friends with benefits, and I don't think I've ever heard of another song on the same object. Plus it's just so...happy and fun. Also the song makes me want to do a lot of ridiculous hand gestures and facial expressions. Ask me and I'll be happy to demonstrate.